When Mourning Breaks

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▶︎ WINNER: Best Documentary (in budget category), International Visual Christian Media (2013)

FILM OVERVIEW: Each year in the United States, about 2 million women lose a pregnancy either through miscarriage or elective abortion (33% of all pregnancies). Although the term “post abortion syndrome” is not an official medical diagnosis, those who experience pregnancy loss know it’s real. And, while there are great differences between miscarriages and elective abortions, the emotional trauma that follows any kind of pregnancy loss is often very similar. Too often the Church is not a safe place to talk about this “silent pain.” How can the Church bring hope and healing to individuals who are experiencing such trauma while continuing to affirm the sanctity of every human life? When Mourning Breaks illustrates practical ways to love and support those who are hurting from a pregnancy loss.

Couples and single adults, physicians, chaplains and counselors talk about the impact of miscarriage and elective abortion on emotions, relationships, marriage and faith. Often called a “women’s issue,” this groundbreaking documentary film provides equal time for men to share the pain of lost fatherhood. By sensitively presenting the stories of grieving women and men, When Mourning Breaks encourages compassion and offers hope.

RUN TIME: 58 minutes
ORIGINAL RELEASE: June, 2012 (Aborted Sun)
RE-RELEASED: January, 2013 (When Mourning Breaks)

When Mourning Breaks - Movie Poster

Film Gallery


When Mourning Breaks offers a rare journey into the pain that men and women experience after a pregnancy loss — including miscarriage or abortion…a ‘must-see’ film for couples and a perfect educational resource for churches, counseling agencies and pregnancy centers.
Sydna Masse, President/Founder, Ramah International
Whether the pain stems from a recent loss or unresolved grief from the past, When Mourning Breaks meets viewers right where they are…this is an important film.
Troy Miller, President/CEO, NRB Network
When Mourning Breaks is encouraging, positive, non-condemning, redemptive. This is one film that should be in every church…
Claudio Consuegra, Director - Family Ministries, General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists

Support Groups

National Share has a list of local support groups. But, the best local information will likely be available through your local hospital. We don’t know how many are Bible-based support groups. For information about symptoms and causes of miscarriage, visit March of Dimes.
Many pregnancy resource centers offer groups facilitated by volunteers. Ramah International provides a large-national listing. As far as we know, most of these groups use study books written by Christian authors.
We recently learned of some churches have launched their own integrated pregnancy loss support groups (embracing both types of losses)! Talk with your church pastor about pioneering this vital outreach in your community.

Personal Bible Study

If you’ve ever wondered whether God knows what you’re going through or if you can find healing and peace, you’re not alone. As shown at the beginning of When Mourning Breaks, Producer/Director Chris Lang was miraculously spared from miscarriage and abortion in his mother’s womb. And even though he has witnessed many other miracles, he wasn’t spared the pain of loss. Chris shares some of his personal experiences and perspectives about God, the Bible and destiny. If you don’t know the God of the Bible, we hope you will give Him a try, because He promises: “You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with ALL your heart” Jeremiah 29:13.

One thing that makes the Bible authentic is its depiction of real human problems, especially among those who believed in God. From Job to John the Baptist, the Bible is full of stories of pain and asking God “why.” If we take the time to read their stories, we can find comfort. We find that even if they never got answers to the “why” questions, if they didn’t give up, they eventually found peace and security in God. And just like in the Bible stories, in order to begin a healing journey, we must start by being honest about how we feel, even if we can’t express it. Denying or suppressing our loss by burying it or pushing it away will only delay the grieving process. Sometimes it feels like we’re caught in the storm without an anchor to hold on to. The Bible vividly expresses our often inexpressible pain.

“In the day of trouble I sought the LORD; my hand was stretched out in the night without ceasing; my soul refused to be comforted…I am so troubled that I cannot speak.”
– Psalm 77:2-4

“Though I speak, my grief is not relieved; and if I remain silent, how am I eased?”
– Job 16:6

“My eye has also grown dim because of sorrow…my purposes are broken off, even the thoughts of my heart.”
– Job 17:7, 11

“For I am ready to fall, and my sorrow is continually before me.”
– Psalm 38:17

“Thus my heart was grieved, and I was vexed in my mind.”
– Psalm 73:21

“He has led me and made me walk in darkness and not in light. Surely He has turned His hand against me…He has besieged me and surrounded me with bitterness and woe…my strength and my hope have perished…”
– Lamentations 3:2-5

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”
– Matthew 5:4

I remember the pain I felt after my divorce. It seemed that no one could understand my sense of loss, a feeling of living death. One night, I cried out to God for more than a hour, face down on my floor at home. Suddenly, I sensed a presence in the room. But it wasn’t just a presence; it was a holy Person. My heart began pounding, and I could barely breath as I felt the awesome arrival, an awareness of One who did understand my pain. I will never forget that holy hug from the Holy Spirit that night. It lasted for less than a minute, and He didn’t give me any answers to my questions. In that moment I realized that all I really needed to know was that God was with me. And because of that fact alone, I knew that everything would work out fine…better than fine. Now I knew my pain couldn’t kill me. It was now only a ‘shadow’ of death because of the One who met me there in that painful place.

“They say, how does God know? And is there knowledge in the Most High?”
– Ps 73:11

“…I have surely seen the oppression of My people who are in Egypt, and have heard their cry because of their taskmasters, for I know their sorrows.”
– Exodus 3:7

“…His soul could no longer endure the misery of Israel” (or NLT – “…He was grieved by their misery”).
– Judges 10:16

“…though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me.”
– Psalm 23:4

“The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit.”
– Psalm 34:18

“Can a woman forget her nursing child, and not have compassion on the son of her womb? Surely they may forget, yet I will not forget you. See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands…”
– Isaiah 49:15, 16

“He is despised and rejected by men, a Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief…And by His stripes we are healed.”
– Isaiah 53:3-5

“…He is not far from each one of us; for in Him we live and move and have our being…”
– Acts 17:27, 28

Most of us have been taught that good people don’t get angry. This is why it can be unsettling to feel rage after pregnancy loss. But anger is one of the most common emotions people feel toward God in the aftermath of aborted dreams. After all, God is our Creator and Sustainer, isn’t He? Why didn’t He show up and do His job to save my baby? Perhaps He doesn’t really think I was living a good enough life to help me? That must be the reason! And so it goes. We get angry at God, and we get angry with ourselves and oftentimes with others. Before long, the root of bitterness can grow and cut off any hope for a healthy future. Perhaps your anger has even caused you to stop talking to God. But, if you believe everything the Bible teaches about Him, you know it is the Devil that causes death and destruction, not God. And the God of the Bible is patient and understanding enough to love you even through the “silent treatment.” The Bible also teaches that God has a plan and will execute a final solution for the problem of evil, pain and suffering. He invites you to hold on, to trust Him even though you are hurting.

“Looking carefully…lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled.”
– Hebrews 12:15

“All his days he also eats in darkness, and he has much sorrow and sickness and anger”
– Ecclesiastes 5:17

“‘In your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.”
– Ephesians 4:26

“Now David was greatly distressed, for the people spoke of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved…But David strengthened himself in the LORD his God”
– 1 Samuel 30:6

“My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”
– Psalm 73:26

Have you ever heard the phrase: “I am my own worst enemy?” As a young boy, I can remember having nightmares about my salvation and access to heaven. But, slowly over the years, I came to understand more about the certainty of my future because of Jesus Christ. His perfect life, His death on the cross and His bodily resurrection not only guaranteed me freedom from eternal death, but freedom from my own sinful self in this life! That’s really good news! Because of Jesus, anyone can confess their sins to God and be forgiven, then filled with and restored by His Holy Spirit. It’s called a new birth, and there are no human words that can describe the power required to change our deceitful, sinful hearts (Jeremiah 17:9). The writer of the book of Acts came as close as he could when he used the word “dynamis” (from which we have the word ’dynamite’) to describe the result of the Holy Spirit’s power to change a person’s heart (Acts 1:8). You can have the mercy of Christ to forgive you and the power of the Holy Spirit to change you (John 1:12; 3:6-8)! When you know you are forgiven by God, you are then free to drop the chains of resentment toward yourself and those who may have hurt you.

“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us…where sin abounded, grace abounded much more.”
– Romans 5:8, 20

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
– 1 John 1:9

“There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus…”
– Romans 8:1

“When I kept silent, my bones grew old…day and night Your hand was heavy on me…I said, ’I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,’ and You forgave the iniquity of my sin.”
– Psalm 32:3-5

“For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.”
– Psalm 103:11, 12

“This I recall to mind, therefore I have hope. Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness…the LORD is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul that seeks Him.”
– Lamentations 3:21-23, 25

“…I will make darkness light before them, And crooked places straight. These things I will do for them, and not forsake them.”
– Isaiah 42:16

What happens when you have a physical wound or sickness in your body? Other resources in the body come to aid and help to heal the wounded tissues. In the same way, the Christian community of faith is vital to the health and wellbeing of the parts that make up the Body. That’s why the Bible teaches that we should not forsake or neglect getting together. The purpose is to pray for and encourage one another. When there is a grieving person in our midst, the rest of the Body comes to that person’s aid in various subtle and practical ways. The other important benefit of joining a Bible-believing community is the wisdom and counsel that can be offered in times of need. But, the most loving community is also a Body that can be quiet and not try to answer all the questions.

Too often we are so uncomfortable with silence. We want to help each other get past our grief instead of allowing the grieving person to fully enter into and embrace the blessing of brokenness. In that broken place, God often does His most important work, if we allow Him and each other to stay there as long as necessary. Each person is different, and we too often project our own preferences or experiences on someone else. While our experiences may be helpful, God can give wisdom to know when to speak and when to just be quietly supportive.

And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.”
– Hebrews 10:24, 25

“Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed…”
– James 5:16

“Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
– Ecclesiastes 4:12

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”
– 2 Corinthians 1:3, 4

“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”
– Galations 6:2

“…in a multitude of counselors there is safety.”
– Proverbs 24:6

“…A time to keep silence, and a time to speak.”
– Ecclesiastes 3:7

I remember one night, after an intense period of counseling, I felt overwhelmed with a sense of so much to implement in my life. I found myself having a pity party and complaining to God about it in my hotel room. This went on for about thirty minutes as I was packing to fly home the next day. As I climbed into bed and turned out the light, the Holy Spirit spoke in my mind saying: “If you weren’t broken, you wouldn’t need a Comforter (a reference to Himself – John 14:16 KJV). The world scoffs and says, “I’m Ok. you’re Ok.” But, that’s a lie. We’re NOT Ok. If we need proof, just look at the increasing numbers of wealthy, accomplished celebrities choosing suicide instead of life.

We need a Savior to save us from ourselves. And, sometimes that sense of need is most palpable in the middle of broken dreams and disillusionment. The deafening sound of silence can bring humility as we open ourselves up to “…the Way, the Truth and the Life” (John 14:6). That’s why the pain of loss can be a blessing in disguise. That’s why it’s possible to find peace even in the middle of a storm of emotions.

“And it shall come to pass that whoever calls on the name of the LORD shall be saved.”
– Acts 2:21

“Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace, be still!” And the wind ceased and there was a great calm.”
– Mark 4:39

“…for He will speak peace to His people…”
– Psalm 85:8

“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
– Matthew 11:28-30

“You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” – Isaiah 26:3

“He shall enter into peace; they shall rest in their beds…Peace, peace to him who is far and to him who is near,’ says the LORD, ’and I will heal him.’”
– Isaiah 57:2, 19

“Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” – John 14:27

“Now may the Lord of peace Himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The LORD be with all of you.”
– 2 Thessalonians 3:16

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
– Philippians 4:6, 7

“…He who keeps you will not slumber.”
– Psalm 121:3

We don’t explore the nature of death in When Mourning Breaks because it would require a whole film all by itself! However, for those who want to learn what the Bible really teaches about death and future destiny, please visit our Movie Study Guide page. We dealt with the original lie: “You will not surely die” (Genesis 3:2-4) in recent film projects because we believe it is a crucial issue.